The Spider and The Web-2

The other day, I saw the spider again, crawling in the other corner of the room. I high fived him and said-Congratulations, so you got yourself out. Cool!!! Mr. Spider gazed straight into my eyes and so did I. My eyes were full of brightness, joy and in a mood of celebration for Mr. Spidy got himself out but it’s eyes were dull, lonely and filled with sheer agony.

I asked- Hey dude! What happened? Aren’t you happy? Common!! You got yourself out. Where is the party?

It looked on the opposite corner of the room in the direction of it’s web. I noticed the web was crudely broken and so was the spider’s heart!! I said- Come on Man, I will help you out building the web back. I could see a thin line of joy on it’s face for a moment which faded immediately. It said- I appreciate your effort again but it’s not gonna be easy. I think, I shouldn’t have broken it. I said- It’s okay. The corner from which I see, you haven’t done anything wrong by breaking the web. So, cheer up dude! And let’s fix the web.

It suddenly looked into a different direction where I could see a few more spiders staring avariciously at it’s broken web. It said- Do you see them? My web was the best in this entire universe. Nobody would dare to touch it but now that it’s broken, they are trying to obtain it. I said- Oh! Don’t worry about them!! Your web is precious even in this situation. Isn’t that something cool to think about? Anyways, I will be there with you always until we finish the re building of the web. You can definitely count on me with your eyes closed!

It again smiled which faded away with the speed of light. I said- Come on! Let’s get started. We don’t have much time. And yup, we should definitely nail those staring morons down. I have an idea, why don’t you build another web as well which would trap them forever??? It laughed this time and said- Stop giving such stupid ideas and start working!!

Well, we both are working towards building up Spidy’s web these days! Wish us luck!!

The Spider and the Web

The other day while doing nothing and staring on the wall, I saw a spider struggling hard to come out of it’s own web. Poor fellow! It was badly stuck in it’s own web.

I couldn’t stand the turmoil and asked if it needs help. It smiled and said, do you know what exactly my problem is? How will you help when you don’t even know the turbulence? I replied-Well, I can see you struggling to be free of your own web. Isn’t that your problem? It replied-No, it isn’t. But then I appreciate your effort and request you to help me with getting out of the web. I showed it the way to get out of the web. It again replied- Thanks for the help but do you realize that the path which you have just showed me would break my own web? It takes a lot of toil and effort to build up a web, you must know! I replied- I am sorry, didn’t realize that but then what would you do now? Don’t you know any other way to get out of your own web? It said- Yes, I should prefer my death over breaking the web. I said- But that wouldn’t free you! Your soul might be trapped forever! Soul is the only thing which God truly gave us, the only thing that’s truly ours! Please don’t do that to yourself! It replied in a firm and steady voice-I have to!

After a pause, I again said- Why don’t you do this? Break your own web, get yourself freed and then re-construct it. It said-Once broken, I am not sure if I can re-construct it. I said- At least take a chance. It said- The web is so precious, I prefer not taking any such chances. I said in a feeble voice- But that’s the only way you can keep yourself alive! It then smiled and said- Told you! You will not be able to help me!

I now encounter the spider every day struggling to come out of it’s web. I am afraid, one day it might stop trying and start waiting for it’s death to approach!

The dark side

Watched a Hindi movie named Ankahee(1985) today starring Amol Palekar and Deepti Naval. The movie was recommended by a friend. According to him, the movie was very touchy but I on the other hand am filled with anger, frustration, exasperation and outrage after watching the movie. This state of anger, frustration and outrage is against various accustomed rules of the society.

But before I proceed further, let me tell you the summary of the movie. I believe, none of you would be interested in watching an Amol Palekar’s art movie, hence there shouldn’t be any problem disclosing the summary here. Following goes the summary.

“Renowned astrologer Pandit Satyanarayan Chaturvedi lives with his wife Devki and son Devki Nandan aka Nandu. Nandu is in love with Sushma and wishes to marry her. His father is against the marriage and tells him that he is fated to be married twice. He also tells Nandu that his first wife will die within eleven months of their marriage. Nandu purposefully marries a mentally challenged girl Indu, hoping her to die within 11 months of the marriage which would allow him to marry Sushma after Indu’s death. But the prophecy doesn’t come true. Indu doesn’t die, on the other hand Sushma commits suicide because of her self consciousness.”

Luckily, I have been born in a family where there is no place for such superstitions. But I do have encountered few incidents where superstitions and prophecy have taken lives away. I have seen a very dear friend of mine dying just because her father was an astrologer and didn’t wish to pursue a doctor for any kind of medication. After her death, people were accusing him of letting her die just because she was a girl. It seemed, it was a golden opportunity for him to get rid of at least one of her daughters. I was then almost 6 years old and the girl who died was almost 2 years older than me. I don’t have much of her reminisces now. But when I asked, my Mom did tell me that she treated me like her younger sister though she was the youngest in her family. She was also very affectionate towards me. Aah!! How disgusting of that father!!! In fact he isn’t worthy of being called a father. Is he?

Though I live my life by my own principles but many of them are the same as my father’s. I remember ,once while I was at home, I asked my Mom to take me to a palmist. She asked- “Why do you need to visit a palmist? I don’t find any need but since you are very keen, I will take you there tomorrow.”

Tomorrow came but I said to Mom-“ Mumma, cancel the plan of visiting the astrologer. I don’t wish to go.”

My father was standing behind. He asked-“ Oh Roohi! You were planning to visit a palmist..but what for did you want to go there?”
I said-“Just to know what is written in my fate ahead , Papa.”
Papa said-“ Okay then what happened now? Why did you change your mood?”

I said-“Because I am afraid, if the Pandit said something unpleasant /sad, I might not be able to cope with it.”

Papa said-“ Then that’s absolutely a wrong and unacceptable approach Roohi. You must be able to face whatever is ahead in your life. You must have the courage and strength to face it. Don’t be a coward. Your statements are just like burring your head in the sand when the storm approaches you.”
He continued- “ I will tell you a better reason not visiting any astrologer or palmist. I assume that you are not an atheist, you do believe in God..Do you?”

I fervently nodded my head in agreement.

He continued-“Then that almighty God/ invisible power takes care of you, me and everybody else on this universe. He is our creator. We are orphans if he doesn’t pay attention to our fortunes/ misfortunes. In this never ending battle of life, we do fall, struggle and then stand up but all this while he holds you in his lap. His blessings might be invisible but certainly aren’t a fable.

Now, the astrologer whom you were wishing to visit in order to know your fate is also a creator of the same invisible power.  He is just as tiny as us in front of God. He can’t predict your future at any cost. If he was able to do this, he would be standing just next to God..don’t you think so? He just uses this profession of his to earn his living. Think about it.”

And after that incidence, I never felt the need to visit any astrologer/palmist again.

I have always believed that everybody is entitled to their opinions. But to me, these un-necessary customs, astrology and superstitions are just excuses for few people to get rid of their responsibilities (just like my friend’s father) and hence for the rest of the people it becomes a reason to suffer (just like my friend who died).

The extraordinary people- Chapter 1

In an early afternoon of July 2010, I was standing in front of the receptionist of a leading MNC which specializes in developing and marketing computer hardware systems and enterprise software products while asking for Mr. Manohar Kulkarni. After confirming with Mr. Kulkarni  on phone, the receptionist escorted me till the lobby and asked me to have a seat on the couch. He also informed that Mr. Kulkarni might take few minutes to show up while leaving.

I gave a quick glance to the place and made myself comfortable enough into the couch while grabbing the newspaper. Mr. Kulkarni showed up after almost 20 minutes. He was a middle aged man with a bulky physique, fair complexion and an average height. We greeted each other with a handshake and then he introduced me to a guy saying he is the one who will be interviewing me. I had almost overlooked the presence of anybody else other than Mr. Kulkarni in my nervousness of the pre interview phobia.

Well, the guy was pretty easy on the eyes aged around 28 to 29. While I was discreetly looking at him, the inner voice of me uttered- Roohi, relax. Didn’t you hear Mr. Kulkarni properly? This guy is about to interview you and hence he must be a demonic character. I immediately brought myself back into this world and smirked at my inner voice. By this moment, Mr. Kulkarni had already left.

So Roohi, shall we find out a cabin, he said in a firm voice while proceeding towards it. I followed him without uttering a word. He offered me to sit on the chair which was just rightly placed on the other side of the center table. I sat down on the chair and gave an unsuccessful trial to make myself comfortable.

Now, it was the time for me to get bombarded with his all so technical/drudging questions. Well, I was also in the “come on girl, let’s face it” mood.

He asked, “To Roohi, kaisi ho? BTW my name is Ifthikar”

I gaped at him, too dumbstruck for words.

He said,” Dekho, I am not much familiar with these typical interview sessions. So, let’s treat it as a formal meeting between you and me. Besides, I am not feeling too well today but didn’t want to postpone this interview. Hence, here I am with a 102 degree of fever sitting in front of you. ( the grey color half sweater over his formal shirt did witness the truth behind this statement of his)

By that time, I was almost out of that pre interview phobia and was quite comfortable with the environment, my uneasiness has suddenly vanished and a sense of comfort had taken it’s place. I think he managed to achieve what he actually wanted to..

I answered, “Main thik hun. And it’s sad to hear that you have to interview me even in this state of fever.”

After that, he asked me a bunch of technical questions, few of which I did manage to answer correctly while rest of them being wrongly answered and hence impacting a not so good feeling into me. So far this interview didn’t seem to be going on the right track to me.
Well, after those technical questions, now it was the turn of that typical question which I so hate like those melodramatic twists and turns of Ekta Kapoor’s serials.

And, he did ask that “Tell me something about your positive and negative characteristics.”

I usually don’t like lying to anybody but these kinds of questions do force me to lie specially when I am sitting in an interview room and my career is at stake.
I answered in a firm voice-Talking about the positive aspect, I am hard working, patient, and can handle stress very well and blah..blah..blah..( Well, everybody around me can explain you briefly about my laziness and the way I panic sometimes.) And, I am an emotional fool( Well, most of the girls are..and I love the way I am), you can consider it a negative aspect of my life.

He gave a 5 minutes lecture over the negative aspect making it to sound like the greatest weapon to win the world and then left asking me to wait for few minutes. I really was expecting him to come back and then say “Roohi, you can go home. I am really sorry, we did select you in the telephonic round but you were not up to our expectation in this face to face interview.” But to my surprise, he came back with Mr. Kulkarni who was supposed to be my next interviewer only to be followed by another 2 round of successful interviews.

Well, I must say that the dude did help me beyond my expectations to grab a job in a leading Database Management company.

blah..blah..blah

It was an early morning of October 2012 while I was at home. I was talking to somebody on phone in a little loud and harsh tone. Papa was passing by from there. He asked- Roohi, is it the customer service you are talking to?

I said- Yes Papa.

Papa prompted with the next obvious question, “Well, did they reschedule the flight once again? How many times did I advise you not to travel with Jet Airways!! First of all, they don’t have any direct flight from Patna to Bangalore and 2nd they always reschedule their flights. I have never seen you boarding the flight on the same day as mentioned in the original ticket. It either has to be the previous day or the next day but it never is the same day! I don’t get what’s with this Jet Airways obsession of yours. Sharma’s uncle daughter always prefers an Indigo flight and I have never heard of her facing such issues.

I replied in a dramatic melancholic tone-But Papa, Indigo’s air hostesses are so boring..neither are they beautiful nor are they attractive! And, Jet Airways has coolest flight stewards as well!!  Now don’t tell me that I should look for my comfort before I start looking at those air hostesses. After all, a flight journey becomes very uninteresting and tedious without those beautiful /attractive air hostesses and cool stewards.

Papa replied- You and your tantrums! Nobody can win any argument while he is having it with a lady. Just tell me your rescheduled flight timings.

I said- Papa, it’s not an argument. It’s a discussion, you see..:D You are very well allowed to put your points as well! However, the flight is for tomorrow and it’s via Mumbai. The flight from Patna to Mumbai is at 11 AM and then there is a stay of 2 hours in Mumbai and I think, the Bangalore flight from Mumbai is at 5 PM.   

Papa said- Okay, then let’s leave the house at 9 AM tomorrow.
I replied- Sure! Done..

The very next morning:

Papa-“Roohi, come on! It’s already 8:30 AM. Hurry up!”

Before I could answer anything, Mummy replied- There are still 2 and half hours left and you are asking her to hurry up! I am still not done with snacks packing. I need another 1 hour.

I replied in a pleading tone- Mom, please hurry up. If you delay that much, I won’t be able to get a window seat Mumma. 

The same day at around 10:30 AM:

Finally, myself  and Papa are at Patna airport with 1 trolley and 1 hand bag, the hand bag is filled with only SNACKS. I rush to the ticket counter with my voter ID card in one hand , the hand bag in the other and only God knows in which hand was I holding the trolley bag(can you imagine!) and ask the agent while getting the boarding passes “Can I get a window seat please!” She replies in a sarcastic yet trying to be firm voice- “Mam, you are one of the last passengers to board in. I am sorry but you will have to adjust with a middle seat but yup, I can give you window seat for the flight from Mumbai to Bangalore.” I thanked her for the kindness she was anyways supposed to show and proceeded towards the security checking.   Damn! Mom, I wish you could be here!

The same day at around 4:30 PM:

I am in the flight to Bangalore looking for my seat. Suddenly, I see, it has already been occupied by a man, aged around 40 to 44 years. I said “Excuse me! That’s my seat, I guess.”

He replied “oh..sure! I will shift” and he shifted to the middle seat. It was not more than 5 minutes since I had made myself comfortable enough that he prompted once again “You look tired. Have you been traveling all day?”  I thought-“What the hell!  You are supposed to espy those air hostesses not me.”

Well, You can say, I am kind of over protective when it comes to this part of life. Anyway here is what I replied to him “Yes, I was in another flight this morning.”  And then he came up with another question “ So, do you work in Bangalore?” I replied- Yes, I work in Oracle answering his third unasked question as well and expecting him to shut up. He once again asked-“Which building of Oracle?” I replied-“ Do you know Kalyani Magnum Infotech Park?” He replied “Oh..Yeah..the one just opposite to Mom and Me..right? In fact I live with my family in the adjacent apartment and I work with some blah..blah..blah..blah”  Now, let me tell you the fact that I always prefer traveling alone until and unless it’s a well planned trip to some place with friends. The travel time is ME time. I get time to spend with myself without any disturbance and incoherency while traveling. Finally, I reached Bangalore at around 8 PM.

And, you must be wondering..What’s with this “ME” time..right?

Well, it was not more than 10 minutes since that obnoxious man had stopped irritating me and started annoying the person sitting to his right and I was asleep!! Well, you see, be it a window  seat, middle seat or corner seat, all I do is sleep while traveling and I suppose that’s the ME time of mine..:D 

Also, I am still pondering, what’s the conclusion of this anecdote… that ME time is important? that everybody needs to travel alone at least once in a life time? that being overprotective about ourselves  is good and yeah,that definitely is..that we should always leave before time to acquire a window seat? that I should stop irritating you people with such stupid anecdotes?Well, conclude it yourself and do let me know as well...:P

The Closet

I have heard very often, people saying that they are an open book.I really can't understand the fact of being an open book.How could we be an open book where any body can just walk in and turn the pages, read the pages, write into that book also few of the times they might tear the pages as well?!!!! Don't the ones who care for me,struggle for my happiness and also can do everything possible to keep me happy and safe deserve a special treatment? Shouldn't that book be only accessible to them with full access control?Where I have the privilege to believe that the book will never get smashed though few of the times due to some reasons or constraints the pages of the book might  get scribbled.That is the reason why until now only a few lucky people have managed to know that behind this calm,patient,understanding and boring Roohi there is another Roohi who is very impatient, very much stupid , makes a hell lot of noise so that neighbors can come complaining, takes stupid decisions and is such a fun to be around..:D And I do miss few of them a lot and few lucky ones are still there with me to make me feel the luckiest..:):)

My view on Working woman Vs Non Working woman

Found this article in one of the FB pages and read it because of the  interesting caption..It said,"Chetan Bhagat's column on working women - Girls should read, but boys MUST read. Click here”

 http://goo.gl/IFpLn

This article discusses about the pros and cons of marrying a working women over a non working women. Well, I found the article completely biased. I did go through the comments, I found most of them biased as well. Girls screaming, yeah Chetan... You are absolutely right ,  mentality of guys in India definitely needs to change. Guys screaming, what the crap Chetan is trying to tell us? Does not a girl's father look only for a groom who is earning a handsome salary? So, why shouldn't a guy who is earning a good amount of money and is from a well to do family would have the desire to marry a non-working woman?

Well, I am not sure where exactly my opinion falls..Whether it is biased or neutral? I leave it up to you to decide.

 Let us analyze the case where a guy marries a working lady who does not know to cook.

He could be benefitted with following scenarios.

      
a)  His wife would definitely be able to understand his work pressure and relate to his official problems better  than a housewife.

      b)  She would help him strengthening the family financial infrastructure.

      c)  The most important benefit, she will be a confident lady who would be able to take the right decisions on her own and this quality she in turn is going to transfer to her children.

If you have gone through the above article of Chetan Bhagat, you would feel that, I am almost sounding like him. Well, I do agree I am. Let us not discuss the limitations of a guy marrying a working lady who does not know to cook.

Now, coming to the other scenario where a guy marries a non-working lady.

He could be benefited with following scenarios.

  
a ) He could get three different kind of curries on his dinner table instead of getting only one.

      b)  His house would be much cleaner.

      c)  She would be devoting almost her entire time on her children and family.

I can’t think of any other benefit here. If you can please add it. Again, let us not discuss the limitations of a guy marrying a non-working lady.

Now, let us discuss the scenario where a guy marries a working lady who also knows to cook.

He could be benefitted with following scenarios.

a) His wife should be able to understand his office politics better when compared to a house wife.

Let us go into a little depth here. A house wife would be waiting whole day for her husband(who had a very tiresome day in his office today) to come back home. Once he comes back, she would be expecting at least some kind of attention for her from him. He comes home and says, khana lagao, badi bhookh lagi hai and after having the dinner goes to sleep. Chances are there that he forgets to complement her for providing him such a nice food, in other words he forgets to say “khana achha tha”. Don’t you think, someday all these things together are going to agitate her and she would start complaining about her own life? Once she starts feeling that, you can guess where exactly will their life end. She would be losing interest in her own life. Basically, until you yourself are happy and satisfied with your own life, you can’t keep others associated with your life happy.  

Where as a working lady would never have such a strong sentiments towards these minute details. Ideally, she should be able to understand that her husband had a tiresome day today and hence was not able to devote even 10 minutes for her. I would like to emphasize here that, whenever a husband gets even an half an hour off from his busy schedule, he should try to devote it to his wife. This effort should always be there. You never know, this small effort could be the reason for his working wife to make her feel that “yeah, we both are still together”.   

Well, a tip for committed guys, irrespective of your tiresome day, you should never forget to complement your wife for providing you such a tasty food.

b) His wife will be transferring her cooking skills as well to their daughter along with her confidence and independence.

Well, children do learn from the things going on around them. If they see, their Mom not cooking for them, they in turn are not going to cook for their family as well which in future is going to increase your monthly family budget. You will find out that a vast amount of your salary is being spent on restaurant bills.

And, last but not the least, adjustment does matter. A husband should always be ready to help his wife in kitchen, if required. A wife should always know to cook either she is working or not working. Also, a working lady should be able to switch her roles. There might time come, where she would only be required to play the role of a mother or a daughter or a daughter in law. She should be able to cope up with such scenarios.

And , who the hell in this world likes a restaurant food? I would always prefer the food which my mother cooked for me over the restaurant food. So, ladies learn to cook at least for yourself. Why, so much fuss over it? I agree, it requires extra efforts from your side as you need to balance both your office stuff and kitchen as well. But then, this effort in turn results into an attractive goody pack which do contain happiness and satisfaction of your family…Think about itJ